Sitting on the couch, iPhones, after a day of mowing the two-acre lawn.
Roommate Jade: Well well well, if it isn't the Three Stooges.
We all grunt.
Jade: Who dragged grass and dirt all over the floors??
Me: I took my boots off downstairs, and I wear flip flops in the house because my great-grandmother...
Jade, Ivor, Ross: WAS JAPANESE! WE KNOW!!
Ross: I dunno babe...
Jade: Ivor! You still have your boots on, not in the house!
Me, under my breath: No wire hangers, ever!
Ivor, quietly: Son of a biscuit.
Jade: I swear, it's like you all are my kids. I'm the mom and I have to take care of you boys.
Ross: It's alright babe, we'll clean it up.
Jade: I'm going to lay down, it better be cleaned up by the time I wake up!
Me: I thought she was the mom, that's all we hear at night...Ooo mami!
Ivor: Oh yeah, mamasita!
Ross: Shut it! I'll go calm her down.
Ivor, begins to sweep: These are different boots than I wore outside.